In mid-2018, I left my full-time employment and became a stay-at-home mum.
To be honest, the decision to resign from a job that I had been having for more than 10 years was not easy. But, that decision becomes easier when I know my main priority, which is my young son.
Of course, there are other reasons which support my decision to leave my full-time employment.
So, in this post, I will be sharing the reasons why I left my full-time employment and be a stay-at-home mum instead.
Table of Contents
Why I left my full-time employment
These are the 3 reasons why I left my full-time employment:
1. A huge change in the employment
Since 2016, there were major changes in my then employment. Among the major changes are:
The acquisition of my then employer by another big corporate
Employees who had been through the acquisition and merging process into another company would know the situation can be very tough. Especially if your employer is the one been bought over by a bigger corporate.
Along the process, we were forced to face many uncertainties such as job security, changes in our job roles and losing some of the existing company benefits.
These huge changes created numerous negative impacts on many employees, including me.
In other words, the takeover process leaves us feeling down and demotivated.
A series of big changes in job roles and reporting lines
Once the acquisition and merging process was completed, we were then forced to face a big change in job roles and reporting lines too. To make it worse, these waves of changes happened several times within a short period of time.
Even though I was lucky to be adopted into different departments with different roles, I was devastated by the changes. When a new role required me to travel frequently and work additional hours including weekends and public holidays, I knew I had to quit the job.
Don’t get me wrong. Actually, I enjoyed my job. But, the commitment needed does not justify my current priority.
So, the best decision is to resign from the role.
2. My current main priority is my baby
The second reason that gave me the courage to hand in my resignation letter is that my current priority now is my baby.
Because of this new priority, I need some adjustments in my life.
To spend more time with my precious baby
Those who read my post earlier should know that I have been through a tough 6 years of infertility treatment including a failed IVF session before the miraculous arrival of our baby.
Perhaps the 6 years of waiting for a baby makes the baby even more precious to us.
From the moment I kissed my baby for the first time in the operating room, I started to feel the need to protect my baby. Spending the following 2-month confinement leave together with my baby makes the feeling grow even stronger.
Then, the first day I left my baby with the nanny, I had tears in my eyes. I feel really bad for leaving him with someone else while I was at work.
Every time when my baby was not feeling well, I took emergency leave to care for my baby. When my baby is about 2 years old, he is more aware of his surrounding.
That is the time I decided I must take care of my baby on my own.
Else, as he progresses further, I might not be able to shape, guide and grow together with him.
A big part of me also agrees that should I decide to continue working full-time, I know I won’t be able to spend as much time and pay more attention to my little one.
Limited childcare support
When my husband and I were at work, we fully depend on our nanny to care for our baby.
We don’t have a close family member staying nearby to assist us when we need help looking after our baby.
There were times when I need to be on travelling for days. So, after working hours, my husband took care of our baby by himself.
On a few occasions, when things got really tough such as when our baby was having flu and fever. I was feeling bad for not being able to be there for both my baby and my husband.
Perhaps things would be different if we have a trusted family member staying nearby who can contribute to caring for our baby when I was travelling.
Thus, the thought of leaving full-time employment keeps lingering in my head.
3. The need to take a break from work
Some might call this a ‘mid-life crisis’ or a ‘mini-retirement’. Whatever it is, I know that I need to take a break from work.
Especially after these 3 remarkable events in my life:
#1 My long infertility journey
As shared above, I’ve been through a long, tough and expensive infertility journey of 6 years.
This includes:
- Traditional Chinese medicine from 4 sinsehs in Kuching and Penang
- Multiple cycles of Clomid pills to stimulate ovulation
- 3 cycles of IUI (intrauterine insemination)
- An IVF (in vitro fertilization) cycle via ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection)
From all the above medication and treatment, only God knows the amount of the drug in my body.
But, miraculously I got the positive pregnancy test result, not from all the above treatments but when we were taking a break from the infertility things.
Along with the infertility journey, I also learned that there is a time for everything. Sometimes, it is best to take a break from the busyness of life.
#2 The arrival of my baby
The arrival of my baby does really change me drastically in terms of emotionally, physically and financially too. He is now my main priority.
Some days, these priority things can leave me with a mixture of feelings. That is feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, doubtful, excited, joyful, proud and grateful.
Then, mix these feelings with the stress from a demanding job role. It made me feel like I have no space for myself.
All of these affected me negatively.
Knowing how a mother can play a huge role in her child’s development, I want to avoid negative elements in our surroundings and within myself too. I want to be present when I am with my baby.
Since I am not good at multitasking these 2 roles which are a demanding job role and a mother, I need to choose and concentrate on one. Naturally, it is easy to choose between these 2 options.
So, leaving full-time employment for the sake of my baby is the better option.
#3 The passing on of my father
The sixth month into my pregnancy, my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He passed away peacefully when my baby is 3-month old.
Throughout those 6 months, I had some difficult moments. While waiting for the arrival of my baby, at the same time I was on the verge of losing my beloved father.
As I got near the expected due date, I felt my father was drifting away from me.
It was a really difficult time in my life.
I am grateful that my late father has the opportunity to hold my baby. But, still, I was really sad my father won’t be able to see my son growing up. And my son can’t feel the warm love from his grandpa.
From these remarkable events, I learned the real meaning of spending more time with loved ones.
Final thoughts on why I left my full-time employment
At times, I miss my full-time employment, especially the regular paycheck and wonderful time with some great colleagues.
But, I never regret my decision to leave my full-time employment and become a stay-at-home mum instead.
In fact, I am glad I made this decision.
Because I recently learned that there are many advantages to bringing up a child on your own (especially a mother). Such as:
- can have a significant positive impact on the child emotionally
- children under their mother’s care also have a less behavioural problem
But again, to all full-time working mums out there, please don’t feel bad for not being able to stay at home with your kids. I know how tough it can be for concentrating on work and later care for kids after work.
In fact, I salute all the full-time working mums!
Do remember that everyone is different. Instead of judging each other, we should respect each other’s decisions.
In summary, other than being tired of the changes in the employment world, motherhood gave me the courage and strong reason to take a long break from work.
Of course, the departure of my father also made me realise the importance of spending quality time with loved ones. Because there are things in life that won’t wait.
To my readers, do you enjoy your current employment? Or are you thinking of leaving your full-time employment? Feel free to share your thought and comment below.
